I did another post a weeks ago about ‘Escaping past Demons’ or the ‘Past Mindset’, in this post however its about the opposite, its about worrying about the future. We all do this especially when that fearful day is coming upon us and the day our big exam comes, the day of course will be stressful and for some scary but what you can do between now and then is something that can be changed.
Here are some cool facts about worrying:
- 40% of things we worry about never happen.
- 30% of things have already happened and we cannot do anything about them.
- 12% of things are needless worries about health.
- 10% of things are petty issues or unimportant.
- 8% of things that are REAL worries, 1/2 of what we can do something about and 1/2 we cannot do much about.
Always live in the now, the future is exciting and its a challenge. But are you constantly worrying about something coming up in the future, is something bothering you that your not looking forward to? Whatever happens to be coming your way change your mindset to what is going on right this moment, do not look at the future when it does not need to be looked at. If there is something in the future that you don’t like to think or don’t wish to think of you can choose not to think of it. You can in fact block out anything you don’t want to think of simply by focusing on the day today, the present is more important, the future is important but is it that important that we must constantly worry!?
Worrying is like imagining, if you worry you end up thinking of every bad outcome as opposed to good, thinking of going to that meeting today may not be all that bad you may for the horror of it imagine that your going to go red in the face with embarrassment and drop your tea down your shirt or even forget the words you practiced, and top things off you may imagine tripping over the projector wire (sounds funny right?). But these outcomes could be your head going haywire with imagination, the focus is on the bad things that could happen but what would happen if that was instantly changed to thinking of your boss rewarding you for your presentation and getting an A* for it. The bad outcomes are only thought of because of the fears that surround the challenge itself. The future mindset is that you try to second guess everything that is going to happen or what someone else is going to do, you get so obsessed with whats going to happen you forget the present and your worrying takes over your life. You end up spending more time thinking of something pointless and when that thing comes its not even that bad!
Vulnerability is something i learnt about a year and a half ago from a friend, vulnerability sounds like a word you don’t want to use or a word you way to stay away from but in fact the vulnerability plays a big role in our life. Being more vulnerable only opens you up to reality and what can happen, it allows you to take on the very things that are unknown to you or the things you have never experienced. What I have learned from life and coaching is that most people spend more time worrying about troubles than actually thinking of preventing them from happening, or handling them positively after they do. In fact i still against avoiding something that could typically change your life.
Who’s to say the risk of taking a step outside your door today is not going to get you something good even if you hate going for walks or fear going for walks in your neighborhood, hey i should know this because there are some rough people who live in my area. But i can guarantee every day i have gone out i have felt better for doing so, every time i go here or there i feel better, i feel alive because i am taking it all in. I am in the present deciding to take a walk in a few minutes. I am doing it now so i do not fear it later or get put off doing it. Just so you know i’m not the social type!
If you are feeling fear of something yet to happen why fear it now? Why not fear it later? Fearing it now for the next few months before it happens could cause you anxiety, your body will be in fight or flight mode until you decide no longer to think of it as bad or scary, instead you just tell yourself “oh i will just worry about this later”. Of course this does not apply to things with deadlines like homework! The best way to protect your mind from negative or everlasting feelings of fear is to think in the present, just keep in mind worrying now in the present because of the future is going to make the present more scary, more negative and more shaky.
- Do not worry about things that cannot happen!
- Do not worry about things that you have done already!
- Do not worry about things outside of your control!
- Do not worry about things that are pointless to worry about!
Do you really want to take this mood into your present life when you could choose to be happy and just enjoy things as they come? As they say “go with the flow” and think in the moment, that way not only the future worries you months before but you also keep away from the past if anything in the past haunts you an you are trying to get past and move forward in your life. Why are we worrying about tomorrow, next week or next month without worrying about today?
Are you not worried you are wasting today worrying? It is too much a beautiful day to waste, do not waste it in worry.
Many things that we worry about are things we cannot change or do anything about, think about it were you scared of the unknown of the first day of high school? I was, but was it really that bad? Change your mind from worrying to content because lets be honest is worrying going to help? Definitely not! No more “What Ifs”, “I wont”s or “I cant”s.. Instead say..
“I CAN and i WILL conquer my fears and my worries”. Thanks for reading.
~ Jay Rando