Self Deception is a thought process of deceiving something or someone by convincing yourself your not something. This means you can rub away the importance of something someone tells you especially if the thing said toward you is exaggerated or not 100% true. Self Deception though is not a way of blanking out good advice or criticism nor should it be used that way, it is not a way of tricking people or exploiting, this is not real self deception.
For example: if someone was to tell you were awful at something we would usually either take it to heart or make it personal in some way, or maybe not but it would still bother us in that moment of it happening. The importance lies in not internalizing it, by using self deception on yourself you may walk away from something that has truth to it without feeling bad inside or knowing full well inside that what someone else says is not fully true.
You can use Self Deception in several different ways:
Lying to someone is not self deception if done in a specific way, if your joking or being cocky in a funny way which is not annoying then you are typically lying to yourself but not really to others. However self deception can be used through how you feel about yourself and what you do, you convince yourself inside that you are something even if you are not that or it. When a funny guy with a sense of humor walks into a bar and tells everyone he is the most awesome guy ever the way he says it and the situation he says it in depends on whether people take him seriously. Realistically the guy saying this and doing this just got one step closer to being awesome even if that belief of himself limits to his own mind.
The trick here is that if your not good at mathematics instead of telling someone “well i’m awful at it” instead say something different which hides the truth such as “its difficult but i enjoy it” or “its not so difficult but it can be hard sometimes”. An even better Self Deception in that situation would be to say “its not difficult, its quite easy” or “i’m really good at mathematics”. As long as you know the real truth but convince yourself nothing is impossible with self deception you will have the potential to believe in yourself. I’m not a big fan of lying to others, i feel it is better to be truthful but rather to dress comments like that up so you appear ‘positive’. By this i mean – don’t say your awful at maths but make a more creative comment like the ones i made above so your knowledge or self deception is dressed by your positive attitude or belief in yourself.
This kind of self deception does seem like your lying and seems ‘oh so evil’ when you hear it but there is nothing wrong with it if used in the right context as you are simply convincing yourself of something because you would rather not breed negativity within yourself. I always say tell the truth when its needed but when you want to be a certain person and you want to build that person within you then self deception helps, it is more like the me saying ‘fake it till you make it’. The difference between being really fake and using self deception is that with this your using deception to gain a mindset so you can progress into a person you have not yet reached.
For better explanation: If you pretend you are good at football to others you are more likely to become good at football. If you pretend you are happy even when your having a bad day your more likely to have a good day or at least a better one. Whilst this seems fake the difference between actually being fake and using ‘fake till you make it’ is different. Being yourself is being truthful and is about being secure within yourself, pretending your good at football does not mean you are abandoning yourself it just means your positive about your ability. I mean people who apply to jobs tell their employers through CV or Resume that they are ‘very friendly’ or ‘hard working’. This is Self Deception, you are not lying 100% you are simply saying something that is probably 90% true.
In my recent CV Resume i said ‘I am very social’ but the real truth is that i’m not very social just social. Do you understand it?
When you use self deception to tell someone or show someone around you that you actually believe in yourself regardless of telling the full truth you are convincing yourself of something that maybe isn’t 100% true but you use the self deception as a ‘jump’ to getting into a certain specific ‘mindset’ :) The real proof comes in actions and what you show, i once said to a bunch of kids “i’m good at football” and trust me i am average to say the least! But when i had a game of football with them they never questioned by ability – this is because i used Self Deception on myself ;)
Another thing to note: this does not mean if you feel really depressed you should keep it inside and not let it out, that is not self deception. Self deception is not lying to others about things either that involve them or serious events. The difference between punching someone and lying to the cops about it and telling someone you are an awesome person is very different. The former is a deception on the outside, the latter is a deception on the inside that is used to gain a mindset rather than to avoid a problem which involves others.
Practice it, use Self Deception to jump to certain mindsets. Use the line “i’m fantastic” not because your a big headed egotistical person but because you each and every person deserves to create a certain mindset that keeps them positive and full of energy, this is for your mindset. Whilst it may seem like your deceiving others the real reason is not to deceive others but to deceive yourself.
You just failed an exam, do you let it get to you for a long time or do you use self deception as a way to tell yourself “you did your best, you did good”, sounds like something your parents say right? A good dose of Self Deception is handy but only use it when you know something not to be 100% true. That way when something is 100% true you can take responsibility for what really can be changed within yourself, if you failed the exam due to laziness using self deception to tell yourself your not lazy is silly. However if you did your best but still failed you can still pat yourself on the back and tell yourself “you did good”.
Bottom line: Do not deceive people but rather deceive yourself into being more positive or more creative so that you appear happy and confident to others regardless of the real truth that doesn’t really matter anyway. Self-Deception can be used in the wrong way but it can be used in the right way, if you use Self-Deception as a way to lie and lie only you are not using it correctly, Self-Deception used in the right way is choosing to happy and choosing to be a new person, its not about saying something while you don’t feel it. You need to feel it to believe it and you can feel when you choose to feel it.