This is something i train my mind to not only believe but to know as I know that losing isn’t horrible, it isn’t bad, it is fine, there is nothing wrong with losing. I know people who get overly frustrated, angry or even way too passionate about losing and then make it about them self for that week and make their own week a week of pain, sadness and bitter behavior i.e my team lost today so i must be on a downer for the whole week. In this post i want to address this is about materialistic things or things that we can win or lose at that we make part of ourselves and our ego. I have to ask why people could attach themselves so much to something that isn’t that personal? It is like asking for happiness from your favorite team winning and i don’t doubt it makes someone happy but why is so much emphasis put on your team losing, why is it such a big deal? I say to some of my friends that losing should not be taken so seriously, it is to be learnt from and not to be sad over or angry over, if it cant be learnt from in a skillful way then it can be learnt that such a thing does not require so much attention and emotion put on it. The quicker one gets over such a thing the better.
The point i wanted to make in this post was that there are people who try to win to be better than other people i.e “haha i beat you, i am much better than you” – okay maybe i overdid it on the ego. But this is an example of how some people act when winning or beating someone else, they put emphasis on the rivarly and the “oh i beat you so im better, your rubbish” mindset. The funny thing is when people do this nowadays i am not in the least bothered about it, i can only say it looks daft sometimes, the person hasn’t been able to detach from ego nor has this person been able to see what winning is about. In the case of doing something yourself and winning for anyone out there who thinks the goal is to beat other people or be better than them are thinking with ego and letting that guide them to having advantages over others. When i beat my friends at my favorite computer games i.e mario kart i have no intention to laugh in someone elses face or say im better than them, on the odd occasion i might joke but if your thinking with the mindset “i beat everyone else” then your not growing in the right way.
Winning is about accomplishment and fun, not about beating others and being better so you can rub it the wrong way in peoples faces. If an idea of winning is based solely on you to beat the other person and not have fun or learn from mistakes during that loss then your ego will consume you and all you wish to do is beat others to feel better. Don’t feel better from putting others down or from thinking your better than others, feel happy from the fun it generates, be proud of accomplishments and wins but do not play with the intention of external mind. On the other hand losses come naturally, people are scared to lose, scared to be uncomfortable, scared to be here or there. Surpassing fears is one part of gaining confidence from overcoming the very things we find scary. On this hand if you lose it is not all that bad. Losing may make you think “if i lose everyone thinks im a failure” or “if i lose everyone will laugh at me”, question yourself and ask yourself “doesn’t everyone lose?” and if anyone laughs at someone losing they themselves are insecure about them self. Do not let such people get to you.
“There is no failure, only feedback”
I cant stress enough how losing it totally normal, someone must lose for someone to win but with the right mindset you are always winning. I recently didn’t pass one of my six exams and whilst it threw me off a little i can sit down and say that everyone loses at some point regardless of what it is your trying to win at. Losses are needed to grow, losses are part of life, losses are part of winning. Why are losses part of winning? Do you think all winners got where they were without at least losing once? They tried, they didn’t pass, they tried again, they passed with flying colors. On the note of the the quote above, the word failure doesn’t even exist, it is made up word by us that should tossed in the bin. We can fail and we cannot pass but there is no failure only someone beneath it willing to learn from it.
Losing is okay, tell yourself this, if it is something you cant learn from and is something you have no control over don’t let yourself be so emotionally attached to it i.e your football team loses. On the other hand if your loss comes from something your in control of, playing a video game etc then learn from the loss, be okay with it, it does not need to go on and affect your life any more, this process comes to each and everyone of us at some point and must be dealt with. Let those losses come if they have to, don’t run away from losses or from learning, sometimes a loss must come before a win and 99% of the time this is true. A mindset of losing is losing, a mindset of winning is winning. Can you lose but still have a mindset of winning? Its all there for us to learn and teach us great things both logically and emotionally. Thanks for reading.